AWmusic

Allan:How was it doing the interviews for NME? It seemed awkward at times when a few interviewees didn’t seem to get what you guys were doing.
We Are Scientists: “Comedy is rarely comfortable.” Oscar Wilde said that. Just kidding, I made that up a second ago. It’s true enough to be Oscar Wilde, though.

A: What records in 2008 are you digging?
WAS:M83, Mystery Jets, Last Shadow Puppets, Frightened Rabbit. No record has yet approached our new one, of course, in terms of how much money I get if it does well.

(A: I probably should check out these records, I’m a big fan of Frightened Rabbit’s Midnight Organ Fight.)

Are you guys into any sports? Have a favorite team?
Not sports fans, no. I like sports in the sense that I like to play high-energy games, but watching other people play high-energy games is without appeal for me. Exactly like eating: I love to do it, both solo and with others, but would almost never opt to spectate as other people ate. The exception, obviously, in each case, would be if some historic endeavor was being undertaken — a record broken, an entirely new approach demonstrated, etc.

If you guys were not musicians what profession would you see yourselves in? (Other then being scientists of course)
Sick, sick, sick snowboarders.

Do you still read reviews of your records?
Frankly, yes — if not avidly. And it makes me happy when a reviewer likes the record and sad when he doesn’t. Although if a reviewer, in writing about the record, outs himself as illiterate or humorless or stupid, or ugly, I definitely feel much less sad. Less sad than if he argues persuasively and intelligently for the record being a piece of shit.
I can’t defend this, though, reading the reviews — I don’t think it’s constructive.

On to less serious stuff…
What “chemicals” do the We Are Scientists experiment with?
Just alcohol, really. And semen. (I have a beautiful little kid whom I love, so I can totally say that.)

(Allan: I read experimenting with semen the wrong way…..)

Referring to your myspace, while animals are a great influence and sounding like 50 other animals is wonderful, how come you don’t list the Panda Bear? (not of fan of Noah Lennox?)
We just haven’t, in all honesty, been influenced by Pandas, whereas we definitely have been influenced by the Alligator, the Dove, the Kookaburra, the Ram, the Ant, the Dragon, the Leopard, the Raven, the Antelope, the Dragonfly, the Lion, the Raccoon, the Armadillo, the Ducks, the Lizard, the Road Runner, the Badger, the Eagle, the Llama, the Robin, the Bat, the Egret very much, the Loon, the Rooster, the Bear, the Elephant, the Lynx, the Sea Anemone, the Beaver, the Elk, the Magpie, the Seahorse, the Blackbird, the Falcon, the Margay, the Seal, the Blue Jay, the Fish, the Monkey, the Skunk, the Boar, the Flamingo, the Mockingbird, the Snail, the Buffalo, the Fox, the Moose, the Snake, the Bull, the Frog, the Mouse, the Spider, the Butterfly, the Giraffe in particular, the Ocelot, the Squirrel, the Camel, the Gorilla, the Opossum, in weird ways the Swallow, the Cardinal, the Grackle, the Otter, the Swan, the Cat, the Grasshopper, the Owl, the Tapir in particular, the Catbird, the Griffin, the Panther, the Tarantula, the Chipmunk, the Grouse, the Peacock, the Tiger, the Condor, the Hawk, believe it or not the Pegasus, the Turkey, the Cougar, the Hedgehog, the Penguin, the Turtle, the Coyote especially, the Heron, the Phoenix, the Unicorn, the Cow, the Hippopotamus, the Pigeon, the Vulture, the Crane, the Horse, the Porcupine, the Weasel, the Cricket, the Hummingbird, the Prairie Dog to a lesser extent, the Wolf, the Crocodile, the Hyena, the Quail, the Whale, the Crow, the Jaguar, the Rabbit, the Woodpecker, the Deer, the Kingfisher, the Zebra, the Dog, and of course the Dolphin.

I’m a big fan of your advice column…here are a few questions seeking help:

Query: I’m looking to get a tattoo but I’m not sure what to get and where to get it. Do you have any tattoos and what would you suggest?
I don’t have any tattoos. Keith has a large Fidel Castro on his back, because he hates Castro and wanted to graphically demonstrate that he has “turned his back on Castro.”
Knowing little about you personally, I would suggest you get a squad of Smurfs — eight Smurfs, say — with full Vietnam-era U.S. Army Infantry outfitting (camos, M16s, radio pack, etc.). This is vague enough that it can express your feelings about The Nam regardless of what they are. Get it on your face.

Query #2: I’m looking to lose some weight but I’m having a hard time. How do you guys keep slim? And what would you suggest I do to lose weight?
We barely ever eat. You should eat less. Eating leads to fat, and fat makes you fat. To reduce fat buildup in your body, eat only on special occasions like family get-togethers or a close friend’s birthday party. Drinking milkshakes or big glasses of raw eggs are not effective ways of “not eating”, because if those things were in solid form, you would consider them food (ice cream and scrambled eggs, respectively). Try to drink only things that, when in solid form, don’t count as food: water and vodka.

MP3: Chick Lit by We Are Scientists