U2 – No Line On The Horizon
Then she put her tongue in my ear. – wait… what?
For quite some time I’ve been looking for an album that I will be able to deep into shit without feeling like a total asshole and pissing off too many people. Mainly because my reviews are generally positive and I really wanted to talk some negative stuff.
Come in No Line On The Horizon.
Now, here’s the problem that I have with this record: lyrics. I’m not a huge fan of U2 (I’ve never been and I never will be), but I do recognize the fact that they’re great musicians and incredible performers. I like Bono’s charismatic persona and I like his glasses. I do think that The Edge is a very talented guitar player and anyone who disagrees with me when I say that “these guys really know how to put on a great show” – can suck their own feet. (Okay, that was a little harsh, I accept.)
No Line On The Horizon. A four minute song that feels like a two minute song (go figure, I’ve no idea why).
Time is irrelevant, it’s not linear – okay, I’m loving it. Meaning is uncertain, but I feel that.
Then she put her tongue in my ear – wait… what? Feels kinda good, but how do these two lines co-exist and co-relate?
Instrumentation isn’t something I’d be humming along to and definitely isn’t something I’d even remember. Still good though, but not great. Just a matter of preference, don’t throw rocks at me.
Magnificent. Starts out with some pretty cool chords that I found to be rather delicious. But then… a pop-synth comes in (don’t tell me it’s a guitar or I’ll smack myself… because I can’t smack you… because it’s internet… I’m not crazy) and THEN… Bono starts singing “Magnificent“.
Am I the only one who thought “Shit, he’s singing about himself isn’t he?” Let me get this straight – when it comes to musicians I’m the first one to advocate ego’s and arrogance (ask me why) but boy… a little too much? But who am I to say, I’m an arrogant fcuk myself.
I was born to sing for you – okay, I feel that, you’ve been doing pretty well.
I didn’t have a choice but to lift you up – the big J.C.? Thanks, I’ll pass. Next!
Moment of Surrender. Is it again just me and my weird imagination, or does this song sound like a perfect soundtrack for a very high quality erotic film? Don’t tell me you haven’t seen any, I don’ t believe you.
To the rhythm of my consciousness – right on, rock on.
To the rhythm of yes – unless it’s a metaphor for sex – I really don’t get it…
I was punching in the numbers at the ATM machine – dude… seriously, come on, really!?
I could see in the reflection – okay… I do it too.
A face staring back at me – big deal, let me know when you see an ass staring back at you, that’ll be worthy of a discussion.
Unknown Caller.
Force quit and move to trash – well somebody’s using a MAC! Sweet little thing, ain’t it?
Restart and reboot yourself – now that must be a reference to a PC…. the only way I’d hate the lyrics more if he sang “Blue screen of death. Re-install the system.”
This is actually getting funny… move on to the next track.
I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight. – I’m not even gonna point out the irony here (yes, I totally stole that phrase from somewhere)
Everybody needs to cry or needs to spit – yeah, and there’re a lot of other bodily functions that need to be satisfied. Scratch your left ear with your right hand anyone?
Every beauty needs to go out with an idiot – that’s actually quite an interesting thought…
I’m just being picky on this one… care to help?
Get On Your Boots. I think I actually hate this song… I really don’t want to be listening to Bono sing about sexy boots… Please…
Here’s where you gotta be
Love and community
Laughter is eternity if joy is real – it may be a great message but coming from Bono… I’m just getting a little tired of it all.
I’ve got a submarine you’ve got gasoline – I need a phone number of your drug-dealer. I think the guy’s amazing.
I don’t wanna talk about war between nations – I don’t want to hear you talk about it either. It’s a mutually beneficial agreement.
I can’t go on like that anymore. Stand Up Comedy wasn’t bad, but I wouldn’t listen to it on a daily basis. I wouldn’t even listen to it at all actually… Fez – Being Born – interesting. White As Snow – liked the music. Breathe is probably one of the most tolerable songs on this record. Cedars of Lebanon – I’m just so tired that I don’t even want to listen to it anymore…
This is by far the first record I couldn’t listen to from the very first second till the very last. Like I said – I have a big problem with lyrics. I get metaphors and all that (in fact I love them and I know how to use them), but seriously… I’m just not feeling it.
If you’re not too busy – please do leave a comment with your opinion and whether you agree with me or not. If you are, in fact, too busy – oh well… I’m gonna go and cry into my pillow now.
Have a nice day and may the force be with you.
God, I hate this record…
U2 – Get On Your Boots
New Year’s Day by U2
Tags: album
Hey Alex! I hate this CD too. Actually when I heard this line: Every beauty needs to go out with an idiot, the first thing I thought was that Mrs. Bono must be really beautiful then.
I do have to admit a certain prejudice with U2, though. They totally pissed me off when they took the safe path and returned to their totally boring and unimaginative sound after two brilliant albums, Zooropa and Pop. Achtung Baby wasn’t bad but other than the odd song here and there I was never impressed by anything they had done previously. Haven’t been impressed with anything since either. As for “Get Your Boots On”…oh yeah, I’ll put ‘em on alright and run as fast as I can away from Bono. Too bad, really, since Edge, Adam and Larry are so cool.
I don’t know if you’ve seen Michael Stipe’s cover of “One” on Youtube but that is the way song like that should be sung. Take notes Bono.