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Opening the show was Toronto’s very own Nasty Nav. He wasn’t spectacular but I prefer him over Perry Farrell. Farrell, as I’m sure you all know, is the frontman for Jane’s Addiction. As a solo musician, I don’t understand his appeal at all. The combination of his lackluster performance and the presence of his wife, Etty “Epitome of Trash” Lau, made me want to vom. Perry Farrell, get your face out of her STD-ridden crotch, I know half the people in the room are on coke but jesus christ, they still have eyes … and probably more dignity than everyone on stage put together. Gross.

You can imagine my relief when Bloody Beetroots came on. (Btw, I apologize for the quality of these photos in advance. My camera is terrible when it comes to capturing lightshows – which the Kool Haus always has.) I had never been particularly enamoured by the Bloody Beetroots because their music has no place outside of a club/party. I’m not suave enough to listen to them sitting at home. I feel like I’m missing a spinning bed with leopard-print sheets and a giant mirror on my ceiling. In that sense, the description “love child of the Misfits and Daft Punk” is largely inaccurate because the Misfits and Daft Punk are both more listenable than the Beetroots. But despite this, Bloody Beetroots put on a great show and it was obvious that they were enjoying themselves even whilst wearing those masks that I’m sure inhibited their already-diminished oxygen intake in a crowded, smoke-filled venue. More importantly, the crowd loved them which is more than half the battle at a show.

I was mostly there for Mstrkrft (I know they play in Toronto all the time but I’ve never seen them!) and Steve Aoki. I saw the set times earlier and was really surprised that Mstrkrft was going on before Crookers. I guess I underestimated Crookers’ appeal. But Mstrkrft was the highlight of the night for me. Mstrkrft impresses me in ways that other DJ duos don’t because A) they’re from Toronto and you know how much I love fellow Torontonians and B) I’m impressed that they’re still alive. I’m not being a jerk, see the Crown Royal? It was almost full when they came on and by the end of their set, it was completely empty. I think Jesse Keeler also smoked half a pack of cigarettes while he was up there. Do I just suck at intaking toxic substances or are the members of Mstrkrft superhumans? Anyway, they also played a fantastic set ending with Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. The universality of that is amazing. Everyone knew the words from start to finish.

As soon as Mstrkrft left, four or five elbows digged into my back as gino/fratboy hybrids rushed to the front, eagerly anticipating performing visual fellatio on Bot and Phra. I was disappointed by Crookers’ performance. It seemed like they were attempting to make up for quality with quantity. Or maybe it just seemed like they were up there for a long time because of their mediocrity. I consider them newcomers and as newcomers, enthusiasm is a must. They looked bored to be up there. Half the time, it was just Phra up there by himself. I don’t get it. Maybe they were as tired as I was but dudes, this is your job, try not to be such downers. Maybe Mstrkrft should have saved them some whiskey.

The best part of Crookers’ set was actually this guy who looked like he had walked right of modblog and chimed in once in a while. But come on, you can’t hire someone to be enthusiastic for you.

Aoki actually started setting up while Crookers was finishing up their last song. As soon as I saw that Aoki was set to go on at 3:30am, I thought he’d take advantage of his head honcho status and just chill at home until like 2am. But no, I saw him lurking about backstage the whole night so good on him.

Kid Millionaire made up for Crookers’ lack of enthusiasm and more. I didn’t stay until the very end (it was 5am, okay? Give me a break!) but he didn’t play anything from Pillowface and His Airplane Chronicles which really disappointed me because I love, love, love that album and everyone thinks I’m crazy.

You know who should tour together? Steve Aoki and Girl Talk. Has that happened already? Do they hate each other? Someone please make my dream come true.

The Bloody Beetroots – Dimmakmmunication
Mstrkrft ft. N.O.R.E. and Isis – Bounce
Kid Cudi – Day N Night (Crookers remix)
The Bloody Beetroots ft. Steve Aoki – Warp

Tags: concert