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Anyway, while the 5 I choose are probably not the 5 worst albums of 2008, it’s the ones I* (just me) that I found to hurt the ears (or brain) for one reason or another.

#5 Black Kids – Partie Traumatic
Original Rating: 1.25 out of 5
Traumatic isn’t a great name to include on your album name especially if people think it sucks. This album is passable though, and a lot of my harshness comes more from the disappointment when comparing the Wizard of Ahhhs EP to this album. They decided to take out things that made their songs universally dancey and did it by being overthetop and on this album more subdued and held back. To go from a self-released gem to shitty major label record, always baffles me but I guess it isn’t the first time it’s happened.
I’ve Underestimated My Charm (Again) by Black Kids

#4 The Killers – Day & Age
Original Rating: 1 out 5
The Killers did try something new on this album. As much as I hate the song “Human”, they do TRY and I do give props for that. I think this album fails because they just weren’t good with the types of songs they were making. I think they were better served being a powerpop band, not letting Flowers’ weaknesses as a singer to be exposed. I’d prefer their music when it was meant for the masses and not necessarily playing toward critics and “making the best album ever” (cough cough) – not that Sam’s town was bad.
Human by The Killers

#3 The Raconteurs – Consolers of The Lonely
Original Rating: 1.25 out of 5
While the original concentrated on other subjects regarding the marketing. Some critics calling it unique to release an album in short notice while taking down blogs at the same time who did promote it when the label could not seems smart (not). Anyway, this album was more noise then substance and just seemed like a cover songs that were bare to bone. Production was pretty terrible though to be fair that could’ve been intentional. Still, some albums work for some people, this album didn’t work for me. There was nothing for me to grasp ahold of, other then noise and distortion then was beginning to annoy me anyway.
Steady As She Goes by The Raconteurs (my favorite song by them, not on CoL)

#2 Mystery Jets – Twenty One
Original Rating: 0.5/5
I first got into the Mystery Jets with Young Love when I showed it to a friend and said it sounded like another track, specifically one of Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett. While I did call it copying, “borrowing” may be another word used and it occurs a lot on this album. I won’t outright call the MJs plagiarists unless they are sued but they sure aren’t very original. I think on each track, I kept going to myself “haven’t I heard that before?” all throughout the album. It’s not that bad to be influenced by certain artists but this album DID suck. I do love myself a good pop album, and I have no idea what the critics are smoking on this one. It’s mediocre at best and at times feels contrived like it’s sticking to a certain “template”.

E.g. Two Doors Down: “I think I’m in love with the girl next door” later in the song “I know I’m in love with a girl who lives two doors down”, clearly this isn’t a mistake it’s more of what fits better in the song. What gives a better hook? When my English teacher told me when writing lyrics, is lyric or the beat that comes first? For the Mystery Jets it’s definitely the hook and they don’t even do that well. This album doesn’t even work on a consistent level, they have no “real” sound, they jump all over the place without doing anything specifically well which is why they got a huge thumbs down. I stand by my review, could’ve been a better post but hey it was a popular post .
Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant & Haley Bennett

#1 Cold War Kids – Loyalty to Loyalty
(You have to be pretty loyal to like this one)
Original Rating: 0.5 out of 5
Cold War Kids takes the #1 spot for both disappointing and sucking altogether. My review was simply:
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT SSSSSSSSSSSSSSsUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs
(okay there was more to it, I lied)
Robbers and Cowards used more guitaring and various other instrumentation to bring the music to epic levels. Nathan Willett vocals take a huge hit in this record. I think the thing is that his vocals aren’t so strong to begin with but the instrumentation made it a meaningless factor. Instead they tried to work with more rhythm and use some African influences (see The Killers for taking the wrong approach here) but again not really working to the strengths of the band and moreso then the Killers to their own weaknesses. There’s just nothing to like on this record. It doesn’t hurt the ears but I do either want to doze off or skip next to the album immediately. I did call Something Is Not Right With Me lackluster compared to anything they had on the previous album, I guess compared to the rest of the record …it’s a stand out (Golden Gate Jumpers is alright too). I liked this band live and their first record A LOT. Who knows now…
Hang Me Up To Dry by Cold War Kids

Maybe I should put a disclaimer first? I was at the Mod Club to see the Virgins. My first review for Allan’s World (lol) was on them (here).I’ve heard the Black Kids Wizard of Ahhs EP, but really didn’t know enough about them. Why am I telling you eh? Because 1) when someone asked me who was opening for the Black Kids, I said “I don’t know, I don’t think there’s an opening act but the Virgins are up first!” and 2) I was among the 25-30 people standing in the front during the Virgins’ performance and one of the two (the other being my friend) who knew all the words. Hmmm yeah.

Anyway, let’s start with The Virgins’ performance. After seeing them, I now understand the reason for the name and agree with Allan’s comment “from band pictures it looks like more of truthful confession”. Cool looking, because of the whole “rock band” status.. but definitely not cute. The live performance was “meh”. He sang and drank beer at the same time. What the eff? Not cool. Although I’m pretty sure I may be a minority in this thought — drinking beer while singing just shows amateurism and unprofessionalism. Your voice is your money tool… liquor does not help it. And frankly, I could hear it in his off-tune, cracked voice singing and see it in his jog sweat dance. I was not impressed. I’m not expecting spectacular vocals, but still.

Black Kids. The place packed up. I guess everyone was there to see them but me. But seriously, what the hell is he singing? I couldn’t understand a damn word this guy was singing. And after reading Allan’s review, I started laughing and I need to quote him on this one (so much quoting today) “The back up vocals sound like a child who’s been punched in the throat. A bit of frog voice on Hit The Heartbreaks.” This is how the lead singer sounds live, like all the damn time. I had to just ignore the hmm “uniqueness” of his voice and concentrate on his “cool dance moves”.. or something. Then he’s talking about “this song is about a Canadian Girl”… hmm, whatever. I’m sure he’s been here enough times and long enough to write a song about a “Canadian Girl”… please stop insulting our taste in men. Honestly. Aside from the above annoyances, the band itself performed well. I’m laughing because since his voice is already like that, and he stayed true to his voice, I can’t say that he didn’t perform well.

Sooooooo.. in the end, I will say this: I had a good time and the music was enjoyable…. BUT, I gotta tell you what I saw, like I saw it: Amateurs (with potential).

Black Kids – Designs On AKA You
(This song’s not on the album, it really should have been — it’s one of the better ones)

The Virgins – One Week Of Danger

Anyway, enough ragging on other cities, here’s the breakdown:

SEPTEMBER 24

Bad Religion
Sound Academy / $31.00

Bad Religon was a lot cooler in the 80s where punk rock wasn’t as big a sham as it is today but hey, music is music. This tour is still riding on 2007’s New Maps of Hell (they released a deluxe version a few months ago with some additional acoustic tracks). NMoH got okayish-pretty good reviews though I guess if you’re going to see Bad Religion, it’s not because you want to see them perform the latest thing they’ve done. Don’t worry, I’m sure they’re not tired of playing “Atomic Garden” over and over again yet.

Mogwai
Phoenix / 19+ / 27.50

Did you miss A Silver Mt. Zion in the summer? Not to worry, an arguably superior post-rock band is on tour and ready to blow to your mind. The Hawk Is Howling hits the shelves September 22nd but if you know how to use the internet, you’ll know that it’s heaaavvvy in a totally awesome expressive yet serene way. Oh, and if you ARE going to the show, please DON’T ENGAGE IN LOUD CONVERSATION DURING THE “LOW-KEY” PARTS! That shit is not background music at a café, show some fucking respect.

Mogwai – The Sun Smells Too Loud

Santogold
Guvernment / 19+ / $26.50

I know the majority of the blogosphere thinks Santogold is the poor man’s M.I.A. but I’m actually a big fan of Ms Santi White whilst not being too into M.I.A. (unless I’ve downed some tequila in which case I like everything!). Santi White used to front a punk band named Stiffed before she decided to fly solo. Her punk roots don’t shine through too much in her eponymous debut album but … they’re there. Just look for punk dressed up in glittery electronic beats and New Wave shoes.

Santogold – L.E.S. Artistes
Santogold – Creator (vs. Switch and FreQ Nasty)
Santogold (ft. Andrew Trouble) – I’m A Lady

SEPTEMBER 25

Holy Fuck
Phoenix / $12.50

I first saw Holy Fuck a few years ago when they opened for Metric. I didn’t really appreciate them (probably because I was too infatuated with Emily Haines and anything that came in between us was instantly shunned) but I’ve grown to almost not dislike them. They don’t really have anything new aside from 2007’s LP appropriately titled LP but it’s a good one so check them out and support a Torontonian band.

Holy Fuck – Frenchy’s
Holy Fuck – Safari

My Bloody Valentine
Ricoh Coliseum / $48.75

Holy shit, I bought my MBV tickets MONTHS ago – I was that excited. This is seriously amazing because the last time they toured, I was like 6 years old. They haven’t released anything new but there is rumour of a new record (unless they die or something). Anyway, if you’re into dream pop/shoegaze at all, you better be attending this show. It will be epic. I’m not going to say much else but expect a concert review in a few weeks!

My Bloody Valentine – Only Shallow
My Bloody Valentine – Come In Alone

SEPTEMBER 30

Hot Chip
Kool Haus / $26.50

Hot Chip played in Toronto in April and I guess they’ve made it all the way around the world and now they’re back. Okay, I won’t lie – the only album I actually like is The Warning. I would only really go to this show to get drunk and dance to “Over and Over”. But who says that’s not a valid reason?

Hot Chip – Ready For The Floor
Hot Chip – Over and Over

October 4

Ratatat
Phoenix / 19+ / $15.00

While their new album LP3 isn’t as strong as Classics or their self-titled, this is not a show I’d want to miss. Ratatat is a sweet mix of electronic video game-ish music and soothing instrumentals. The Montreal show is already sold out so go get your tickets soon!

Ratatat – Lex
Ratatat – Shiller

October 5

Black Kids
Mod Club / 19+ / $20.00

I’ve already talked about Black Kids in the Pop Montreal preview post but they deserve another mention just because I thought Partie Traumatic was an awesome album despite Allan’s harsh review. I am also obsessed with the Chromeo chant in I Wanna Be Your Limousine.

Black Kids – I’m Not Going To Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You
Black Kids – Hurricane Jane

October 6

Dodos
Horseshoe / 19+ / $12.50

I’ve also already mentioned Dodos in the Pop Montreal post but I can’t say enough good things about this band. If I was someone important enough to pick a “band of the year”, it’d be Dodos. I would describe them as an acoustic Battles or Animal Collective with ear-bleeding. Visiteur is their crucial album but there are gems in Beware the Maniacs as well. These guys are going places, I’ll bet my new boots on it!

Dodos – Park Song
Dodos – Paint the Rust
Dodos – Trades & Tariffs

October 7

Wire
Lee’s / 19+ / $22.50

It blows my mind that a band that’s been around and has had as much influence as Wire is playing at Lee’s Palace. I don’t find Object 47 to be anything to write home about but I’d go see them just because it’s fucking WIRE. I mean, are you going to turn down a band whose fanbase includes Henry Rollins?

Wire – 12 X U
Wire – Practise Makes Perfect

October 9

Chromeo
Muzik / 19+ / $25.00

I saw Chromeo in March and I’ve concluded that they’re definitely one of those bands that are better in concert than on the album. Not because they’re musically superior live but because there’s a great energy in the crowd. P-Thugg and Dave 1 are also very engaging on stage (and do a mean aftershow). The Toronto show also features Calvin Harris and James Lidell – I’d say that’s worth 25 bucks.

Chromeo – Fancy Footwork
Chromeo – My Girl Is Calling Me (A Liar)

October 16

Horrorpops
Lee’s / $22.50

I am heartbroken that my bff who is also a Horrorpops fanatic has moved across the country for school so we won’t be seeing this show together. Kiss Kiss Kill Kill isn’t as good as Hell Yeah! but much better than Bring It On! Maybe it was the sophomore slump, maybe it’s because I couldn’t stop thinking about that Kirsten Dunst movie. The point is this is a show I’d regret missing.

Horrorpops – Psychobitches Outta Hell
Horrorpops – Hitchcock Starlet

October 20

Asobi Seksu
Horseshoe / 19+ / $10.00

I suppose if you can’t make it to My Bloody Valentine for one reason or another (those tickets are pricy!) Asobi Seksu is not a poor consolation prize. They haven’t done anything new since Citrus two years ago but for $10.00, I’d much rather listen to playfully sexy dreampop than see some shitty movie.

Asobi Seksu – Walk on the Moon
Asobi Seksu – The Words Live Longer

October 22

Secret Machines
Lee’s / 19+ / $17.50

I was introduced to Secret Machines a few years ago at Dog Day Afternoon where they opened for Metric (are you sensing a pattern here?). Since then, Benjamin Curtis has left the band and they’ve released their third studio album. I actually haven’t heard their self-titled yet but I’d definitely see them again.

Secret Machines – Alone, Jealous and Stoned

October 24

Crystal Castles
CiRCA / 19+ / $15.00

Tsk tsk … Crystal Castles is the biggest thing to come out of Toronto since the SARS epidemic. I was initially completely turned off by them because of all their copyright scandals which I’m sure you’re all very familiar with. But I will admit, the music is catchy. Very catchy. I saw them play a short set at Harbourfront two months ago and well, what can I say? Not bad.

Crystal Castles – Untrust Us
Crystal Castles – xxzxcuzx Me

Well, this is getting a lot longer than I had planned. I’m going to end this here and there will likely be a new post like this for November/December shows. Happy gig-hopping!

So because of Rosh Hashanah and my school’s impressive population of Jewish students, I have almost a whole week off from classes the last week of September/ first week of October. I know you don’t care about that but get this: the 7th annual Pop Montreal runs October 1st-5th and God help me if I’m not at “the greatest party in the world”.

Despite being a little over six years newer than Toronto’s NXNE (which is seriously a sorry excuse for a Canadian SXSW) Pop Montreal has delivered year after year of talented and well-received artists such as Patti Smith, MSTRKRFT, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Basia Bulat, Chromeo, Russian Futurists, Yelle, Sunset Rubdown, Final Fantasy and other artists famous enough to have a Wikipedia page. I guess the lesson here is that a Canadian festival name inspired by another Canadian festival (Halifax Pop Explosion) will be more successful than a festival name inspired by an American festival. Or that Montreal is culturally superior to Toronto – but as a Torontonian, I’d rather sit here in denial.

Pop Montreal 2008 lineup:

Burt Bacharach
Beach House
Eric Belanger
Cori Bishop (a.k.a. Elyse Weinberg)
Black Kids
Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds
Cex
Chocolat
Jason Collett
Crystal Castles
Dabaaz
Dark Meat
Dan Deacon
The Dodos
Julie Doiron
Dominique Grange & Jacques Tardi
The D’Urbervilles
Evangelicals
Liam Finn
Gatineau
Great Lake Swimmers
Headlights
Hot Chip
Jana Hunter
Kim
Michie Mee
Katie Moore
The Persuasions
Playdoe
The Sainte Catherines
Sam Shalabi
Silver Apples
Socalled
Teeth Mountain
Teki Latex
Thomas Function
Irma Thomas
United Steel Workers Of Montreal
Chad VanGaalen
The Veils
Vetiver
The Wedding Present
Wintersleep
Wire
Woodhands
You Say Party! We Say Die!

I am personally giddy about the possibility of seeing Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and Wire and would absolutely love to see the Dodos again. Crystal Castles and Hot chip are shows I’d attend for lame hipster points. Black Kids I’d attend because I genuinely enjoy them and the lame hipster points would be a bonus. Anyway, if you’re in Montreal the first week of October, consider buying an industry pass ($175 till August 31st, $225 till September 30th, and $275 last minute) to have full access to the festival plus the opportunity to rub elbows (or something else) with Colin Newman. Regular festival passes are a steal at $70 a pop but I can’t seem to find a link anywhere so good luck with that. And of course you can always buy individual tickets to shows but I’d always felt like that ruined the “festival” feel.

Edit: I just got an email back from Pop Montreal and regular festival passes will be on sale September 1st.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Love Letter
Dodos – Park Song
Black Kids – I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You

Pitchfork did one of those, “picture” reviews giving them a 3.3 out of 10 for their album. While it was hilarious, the real problem is that Pitchfork was the real reason for the Black Kids’ hype and they couldn’t even justify the 3.3.

I’m going to start by being honest, I hate the album but I’ll at least try to explain why.

The Wizard of Ahhhs EP was and still is a great EP and I still go back to it to listen to the touch of great power pop mixed with great singing. The use of keyboard synthesizers, albeit simple was one strong attraction. The Black Kids used all 4 songs from their EP and while I don’t have a problem with that, I have the problem of changing the songs WAY too much and making them crappy.

Hurricane Jane, I’m Not Going To Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You, Hit The Heartbreaks and I’ve Underestimated My Charm Again were all adjusted to have less keyboards and more guitar strumming. The problem is with this is that the music required the music to rely on back up vocals and lyrics. The back up vocals sound like a child who’s been punched in the throat. A bit of frog voice on Hit The Heartbreaks. The only song that comes close to the original is INGTYBHTDWY as they kept things the same.

The producer Bernard Butler somehow persuaded the Black Kids to ditch their power pop strength into something weaker and diluted. The Black Kids showed off some serious flare self-releasing their EP. When I call the Black Kids “sell outs”, I don’t care if they’re signing to a major label, it’s the fact that they now are sucking musically for a major label.

After I was disappointed in the 4 original tracks, I tried to check out the 6 other tracks. I must admit the song “I’m Making Eyes At You” is a great softer song. The thing with this song, it seems to know its place. Vocals and instruments are quiet together, nothing seems contrived, and that contrast that’s there on so many songs on this album, isn’t present. (It sounds like a Cut Copy song btw).

Otherwise the rest of the album isn’t really special anyway. Some songs sound lame (see: title track) and others didn’t have that “it factor” that made the EP great.

I’m usually not the type to hate a band that goes mainstream, only if they release a lackluster album. It’s really unfortunate but the Black Kids can do better then this. If anything I’ll blame Bernard Butler.

Rating: 1.25 out of 5
MP3: I’m Making Eyes At You by Black Kids

Buy the album at CDUniverse/Insound/Amazon

I did hate uploading tracks though and the linking stuff (takes forever). I also had to re-upload some tracks after annoying my friend Jack with bandwidth usage. Look out for the rest tomorrow.

50. A Girl in Port by Okkervil River
49. Shirin by Jens Lekman (link)
48. I Know I’ll See You by A Place To Bury Strangers (link)
47. For Science Fiction by Maritime (link)
46. Freak Out by Liars (link)
45. Phantom by Justice (link)
44. Sleep Deprivation by Simian Mobile Disco
43. Take Me To the Ballroom by the Moonbabies
42. Tthhee Ppaarrttyy by Justice (link)
41. Myriad Harbour by The New Pornographers (link)
40. Objects of My Affection by Peter, Bjorn and John
39. Blue Headlights by The Shout Out Louds (link)
38. No I in Threesome by Interpol
37. My Moon, My Man by Feist
36. Kookaburra by John Vanderslice
35. Paper Birds by Siberian (link)
34. Make A Plan To Love Me by the Bright Eyes
33. Philadelphia Grand Jury by the Fiery Furnaces
32. I Believe by Simian Mobile Disco
31. You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb by Spoon
30. I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You by the Black Kids
29. You Can’t Hold the Hand of the Rock and Roll Man by Okkervil River
28. Airship by Siberian (link)
27. Turn On Me by The Shins (link)
26. White Winter Hymnal by the Fleet Foxes (link)

The Black Kids are offering the “Wizard of Ahhhs” by download on their myspace for free so it can’t hurt to check it out. I think it’s available on ITunes but I probably would gladly donate money to them. I don’t use ITunes…so yes it’s not for me.

I don’t particular like the band name “Black Kids” as it’s difficult to find a picture (I’d be totally shocked if they aren’t black but to be honest they do sound…white?). Well apparently they are from a picture but I still don’t like the name of the band.

Name aside, I have to agree with all the hype. First off the music being played is absolutely great. You can’t argue with it. It’s innovative and catchy. The singing is pretty good above average but with great female backing vocals that really add something special to these songs.

It’s strongly recommended to check them out. Even if you don’t like it, it can’t hurt to be curious to see what all the internet craze is about right? I see it as Vampire Weekend #2! – Not as an insult…

Anyway the one thing I do hate about MySpace is that they name their files to a retarded name and do to me being obsessive compulsive on my computer I had to rename everything.

I’ll just host all four songs cause this EP is very good that if you download one you should download them all (unless this is considered unkosher to have the full EP up here) . If I were to rate this album (I don’t believe I should rate EPs) this would get a 5 out of 5. For converting people into instant fans!

Hit The Heartbreaks by Black Kids
I’m Not Going To Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You by Black Kids
Hurricane Jane by Black Kids
I’ve Underestimated My Charm (Again) by Black Kids

Picture from The Yellow Stereo.